Magical Mystical Concept of Time

If I have learned anything in the last three or so weeks... It's that time is precious. Bouncing between stressful shifts at work and spending 90% of my "free time" working at the studio- it took a toll. I am recouping currently having taken a few days off work to tend to other matters- like life for instance. We six people finished work on the studio and opened on Monday this week. Monday night was in fact pretty much mine and Hubby's first night home rather then being covering in dust and paint smears at the studio working our asses off. He played on Pinterest all evening after dinner while I took a long overdue bubble bath.

With the power of vitamins, supplement, lineament creams and ibuprofen- I am on the mend. Mentally- yeah, completely different story. But that certainly isn't new news. I am appreciating waking up without the need for an alarm on my phone these few days off. I am appreciating going out to lunch with friends, doodling at the kitchen table, showering when I damn well see fit, and doing load upon load of laundry. Having been burning my candle at both ends with a blow torch taught me to appreciate life when it slows down enough to watch.

I've grown to respect time, and foolish me, I expect other's to appreciate my time. If I've gone so far as to schedule time to spend with a long lost friend- respect that this is a portion of time I could better spend soaking in the bathtub or drawing or doing photography studies. Far be it for me to think of myself as important- I'm not at all (this is an argument for a different time, like when I actually have a fit of self confidence). But my time certainly is important.

Yes. I am pissed off. AND disappointed. In one person in particular. She's an amazing friend. She's been gone for almost a year- running away from issues here to collect herself, her thoughts, and to get away from a bad relationship. One I have bailed her out of on more then on occasion. She came back into town on Wednesday and instantly wanted to hang out with me. So she was to come over for dinner last night. She never showed. Hubby made her favorite dinner dish- which we ate anyways. We rescheduled for hang out time today. Well- she was supposed to be here this morning as I have tentative plans with Hubby (unless his work manages to f**k that up entirely) after 4pm today.

She hasn't read a single message I've sent her. It's going on 2pm now and I'm saddened to think that somehow being back with the asshole I saved her from last fall, probably screwing themselves silly into the wee morning hours is more important then me. Then the little voice in my head says- "well, you aren't important. At all. Get over it."

I've been doing laundry, yoga, photo editing, and studio paperwork as I am now an admin there complete with my very own fancy studio email address and important matters like lazy asshole photographers that refuse to clean up after themselves because "Michelle can do it before her shoot Sunday" reign supreme. I'm keeping myself busy to not let the hurtful pissy voices in my head take over. That and my anxiety meds have helped immensely.

Life carries on and I have things to better spend my precious time on. Being a dedicated friend to someone who prefers sex with a jerk that's only going to hurt her, again (I've done this loop with her three times now. Every spring we're in love, he's changed... blah blah blah... Every fall- f**k that guy, he's a jerk, I'm going back to Texas) over quality catching up with a dedicated person isn't something I need to waste time on.

What this apparent rant boils down to is time is precious. Spend it with people you love and need in your life. Spend it bettering yourself. Spend it however you chose, just don't waste it. And don't waste other's time- it's just as precious to them as it is to you. Respect is something we assume we are due. Respect others as much as you'd like to be respected. Seriously. Tomorrow isn't guranteed, dont waste today.


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