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Showing posts from October, 2016

Atelophobia

By definition:
Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.

For me, it isn't so much a fear as it is a way of life. Hubby and I had a long conversation on a car ride last night about another opportunity granted to me. Gonna keep it a secret for now until something comes to fruition. He asked why I seemed hesitant instead of elated. Why I seemed shy and scared, actually. My perspective- while it is an amazing opportunity granted to me. It is out of the blue and seemingly "free". Nothing is every free. There is always a price be it immediate or over a long course of time... There is always a price.

He suggested that maybe I've finally earned it. That I've been through enough, worked hard enough, have gotten good enough that somehow I have finally earned this. I started to tear up behind my Blues Brother's sunglasses and shook my head. "But I'm not good enough... Never have been, probably never will be." That was all I could force out before the…

Crazy, Crooked Road I'm On...

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Top off that cup of coffee... Turn up some good music... Grab some candy (I suggest Milk Duds, because they are f***ing awesome) and get ready for a massive update filled with funny stuff, pretty pictures, and the formal introduction of my significant Canadian (because no one has real names here...)
Much Needed and Long Art(ist) Updates:
This is what the living room looked like when Hubby and I laid our all my best sketches to put into a portfolio. Why? Well, if not soley to have my most recent, favorite works of art in one place rather then in this folder here, that sketchbook over here, in the brown cover sketchbook- dammit I have four of them... Shit. Well maybe it's in the purple folder with the unicorn on it... Nope it's in the sketchbook I take to work- duh... But because I am playing with the idea of a tattoo artist apprenticeship. Carving my art into flesh on paying victims. There is a tattoo shop next to my work and the guys have "busted" me (as I call it) d…