ADHD and Me… A self diagnosis.
Have I been clinically diagnosed with ADHD? Nope? Am I? You be the judge- here’s an account of my morning today…
Feed the cats… feed the dog… hmmm the garbage stinks, lets take out the garbage… while we havbe our boots on- lets go get wood pellets out of the truck. Damn the bird feeder is empty- fill the bird feeder, bring wood pellets to the basement. The floor should be swept down here- sweep the floor. We do have pig bedding! Bring pig bedding to the living room… if I am going to clean the pig beds, lets wash their bowls. Bring bowls to the kitchen, start the sink filling… wow- these are some cool frost patterns on the windows, go get camera and take pictures. I bet there are cool ones on the bedroom windows! Damn- dirty plastic, get glass cleaner. Shit! Why is the dogs bowl filled and sitting on the counter next to the filled cat food dishes? Put down filled food bowls for the begging fur-babies. Dammit! The sink is over flowing, turn off the faucet in the kitchen sink… Wash windows in the bedroom, take pictures of the cool frost patterns.
Okay- stop and focus! Clean the pig beds. Scoop Silvia and Clarisse out onto the couch- clean their two cages. Put them back together, clean both of Elliott’s cages, put back together. Put Silvia and Clarisse’s cages back on top of Elliott’s. Only one more to do… Get Papa out, put him on the couch- clean his bedding. Hmmm… the mirror in here is really dirty- clean mirror, after finding the glass cleaner in the bedroom. Whens the last time I watered the plants? Start filling jugs of water. While they are filling, do a round of dishes. Water plants… When did we get Sienna a black fuzzy toy? Why is it on the couch with Skijit snuggled up to it? Shit! shit! shit!!! I never put Papa back in his cage! Put Papa back in his cage. Okay- let’s just stop and think for a minute. Take a deep breath… Shower. We need to shower. Just one thing at a time, let’s take a shower.
Shampoo hair… I should really shave while I am in here. Slather on shaving cream, get halfway done with one leg- Fuck fuck!! I didn’t rinse my hair!!! Ouch!!! Dammit!!! Soap in eyes, SOAP IN THE EYES!!! What fresh hell is this??? Rinse out eyes and hair… I should sort the bottles on soap and such on the floor of the shower… should I scrub the glass when I am done? Might not hurt to clean the shower up a little… oh! My phone just chirped!!
That is how my morning has gone…. Great if you want to get a lot of stuff done in a short time. Bad if you want to get stuff done correctly- at all!! I have days like this. I don’t know why- I just do! I wake up in a panicked state- feeling overwhelmed by everything I think needs getting done and that’s how it begins. Did I need to do all of that stuff? Maybe 50% of it. Yes, dishes needed to be done, pig beds needed to be cleaned, wood pellets brought in… But that’s where necessity stopped and just flat out OCD clean freak met up with ADHA blonde and away it took off!!
I physically had to leave my house. I got dressed and left the house- that’s what it took to slam my head into one thing at a time. Driving is a one thing at a time task. If you don’t focus while driving- well, then you die. Since I went out, ran a few errands, had coffee at Biggby my brain has been okay. One thing at a time mindset has kicked in. Edit photos, done. Write a blog- off and on while changing laundry loads… Maybe caffeine helped at sharpening the edge I needed to focus… Who knows?
But... I feel another wave of irrational ADHD coming on... Laundry to put away, doodles to work on, food to be eaten... Squirrel!!!