What I Once Was... What I Am Now...

I am in pain this morning. Last night, I had a great family photo shoot at the studio, and while being my true stubborn self, I struggled to get a prop out to use. While doing so, my wrist popped. Loudly. Last night I had trouble sleeping it hurt so badly and today it isn’t any better. I have it taped and braced, the minimalizing of its motion has helped with the pain, but I cannot put any weight on it. Looks like I will be trying to get in a see a doctor if it isn’t any better by tonight. It doesn’t hurt like it’s broken, but it still really hurts!!! For instance- typing this blog, kinda feels like a slow action murder, starting with the torture of my right wrist area L

I am getting a head start on my being Model Coordinator for another year at the SWMCCC Summer Weekend event, taking on another position and its responsibilities of Portrait Program Coordinator with the help of my bestie (and new assistant, Autumnal). Planning, conversing with fellow photographers, and lots of typing has occupied the time my new surge of painting and photographing hasn’t occupied outside of work. Work, my day job… Topsy-turvey as always. Fine one day, not so fine the next shift but, like I said- I am keeping busy. (In my best Dorie voice- “Just keep swimming!!”)

It’s my goal to have a lot of ground work laid now as far as the MC/PPC for the camera club event, so when the clock starts ticking next April, I can have the majority of it all done and can focus on getting more models for the next event. Look at me… all growed up and acting responsible!!

Another goal I have is expanding and working more towards the selling of my photography prints via ETSY, my website (the store still under construction until I figure out what the hell I am doing), and my page on Facebook- Inkblot Arts. I am painting a lot now (product of my first piece being in an art show since high school, which I get to go pick up Saturday and hopefully have some people interested in buying it, crossing fingers). Just in case the painting doesn’t sell at/after the art show, I am really hoping someone gives it a good home.
end of shameless self plug :)

In the back of my mind a lot lately is how this blog has transformed. When I first started it way back… (thinking, thinking, brain smoking…) well, way back when it was filled with daily rants about life and my complications with my novel character’s not doing what I wanted them to. I was a writer back then. Years ago, that’s all my life was here on my computer- writing. Sitting here in my office, chain smoking, power slamming Monster and creating another world in Microsoft Word.  I still consider myself a writer, I mean come on- this blogs are pretty fantastically written!! Now- I’m still slamming Monster’s, but I am puffing on my e-cigarette in attempts to cut-down/quit smoking while photo editing for hours on end.

However- a few years ago, I bought a camera. My “Hotrod”. What I thought was a professional camera, my Nikon L-120 Coolpix. Before that camera, which I still love but has started to give up the shutter ghost, was my Canon Powershot that I photographed everything with and mastered the art of macro photography. My “inside of the Iris” photos that hang in my living room and to this day, my favorite taken with my Canon Powershot is on the back of my business card. After I bought “Hotrod”, I started photographing my friend Kirin for Suicide Girls. Then Autumnal, and then Ky. We all made a valid attempt and the alternative modeling world of SG, however- the group itself is very cliquey and less inclined to afford the opportunity of staff photographer to someone trying her hardest like myself. So a couple years ago, I abandoned my hope of being something more than “non-staff” photographer on SG. I made lots of friends and it jumpstarted me in live model photography.

While being the “Rented Pitbull” at a few model shoots with other photographers for Kirin- I stumbled into a shoot with her at Workshoots. The photographer took me under his wing and taught me so much in photography. I upgraded to my first Canon 10D camera, bought off Craigslist from some guy in Muskegon and it came with a Tameron lens I still use (even though its housing is broken). I was told back then I was going to be a real threat to the “big boys” with my knowledge of being a model previously and then getting a “real” camera. Still makes me smile. That 10D was the first. It sits on my shelf here in my office, shutter exhausted and won’t even turn on. Next to it, my second- second hand 10D. Currently in my camera bag- my fantastic full of history camera bag- is my third Canon 10D, my secondary that still works great (moody, but great) and my Canon 20D.

My camera bag. Amidst all the drama of my parents moving to a new home a couple years ago- my mom found an old camera, filled with stuff, in their basement. On my birthday that year- she gave it to me. “It’s your father’s old camera stuff, probably doesn’t work, but thought you might like it anyways…” In that camera bag were two film Canon A-2’s, accessories to the excess, and two lenses- my primaries to this day! They’re old, but they work- really, really, really well. Plus there’s the history that when my dad was photographing models, families, weddings, and big fires his fire department ran on- some of my favorite pictures of his that he took, were taken through the lens I am staring down. Gives me chills!!! It really does. Wow- I am such a dork. Where was I???

These are my favorite photos my father took while he was on the fire department years ago... Amazing aren't they?

Oh yeah… I am now an established photographer. One of the “Big Boys”. A member of that photo studio I fell in love with, watching it grow and move to another location. My photography, my photos tell stories. They show a woman with low self-esteem how beautiful she is. Captured moments of a mother to be that wanted creative pictures when she was almost bursting. The simple beauty a nude woman’s body holds, how it captivates the viewer. How tattoos are things of beauty, I love capturing them with my camera- seeing their intricate patterns how just hearing the model tell me why they got that tattoo, who did the art… I love this! I love being a photographer!

And an artist! I’m that too! After focusing on other things- work, life, photography… I can consider myself an artist again. I doodle, sketch, paint, experiment… My houses walls are filled with my husband’s favorite paintings and photos- kinda cool. I have the absolute best husband, if he sees I am running low on canvas- we go buy more. He supports me doodling hours away at the kitchen table, like he supported me when instead of doodles- it was novels… I will work on them again- my novels, someday I will go back to them, but right now- my camera and my paints are calling me J


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