Just... Just... Breathe...

The clock is ticking. And the more it ticks, the more nervous I get. Why? Why am I so blasted nervous?? I’ve photographed people before- LOTS of them. I took an excellent lighting class from the kickass owner of the studio- I am confident in my lighting skills now. I am ace at using my camera and conveying into words the creativity in my brain. I have all my props packed and ready. I have a list written of photo ideas I want to capture. The food is all prepped and/or made by my wildly awesome Hubby… So why am I nervous??
Oh yeah, because this is all mine. No other photographers in the room with me. No one but me there to answer my own questions.  All my idea- to get a huge group of women into one photo studio to create images for my Breast Cancer Awareness calendar. A first in both aspects, my first group shoot (with me a coordinator and head doobie), and my first calendar. Right now- all I can foresee happening is that maybe three or four ladies actually come and we will have all this food, and all this studio time an barely anything to show for it. I.E.- this whole thing blowing up in my face. Honestly- I think I am attempting to psych myself out here. My brain (rather that Bitchy Midget little voice) is trying to convince me that this isn’t going to go as well as it seems to be. Plenty of lovely ladies have confirmed the will be coming tomorrow night. There is plenty of food- and even if not everyone that said they will be there actually attends- I am going to shoot the hell outta the ladies that do come. I have a game plan. I have a solid game plan… so just you shut the F@#% up mean little bitchy voice in my head. Seriously! Shut up!!!

I have my cameras all cleaned and packed. The props and food type accessories, case of water are in staging. I just need to do a little prep work on my computer (which I am bringing to shoot a card full of pictures, dump, load a blank card- keep going. Repeat), I need to make a file folder to dump all the pictures, prep a list of people I will be Dropboxing the images to (which is kinda pointless since I only know of three certainties thus far), and make sure my puter’s accessories all are set for quick set up when we get to the studio. Hubby is taking care of food and drink set up. While another two ladies will be helping me get props ready, lights set, test shots of lighting set and so forth. I’ve got this! Right??

I think the wicked little person trapped in the back of my mind is using my fluctuating hormones (monthly wonder is finally leaving the premises- thank god, maybe I can sleep without all the nightmares) and mental trauma from the past few weeks to gain a deeper foot hold in me doubting myself and my abilities. Is there any way I can shoot her? Perhaps hire a hit man of sorts to “take out” the snide little twerp so I can continue telling myself I rock and actually believe it for more than 10 seconds? Wait- that would be called counseling right? A head shrinker would be the hit man I would need to hire, wouldn’t it? Sadly, there is neither time enough or money enough to resolve that issue. Hmmmm, suck. Oh well…


With all nervous feelings aside- I am excited for the fun to unfold tomorrow night. Even more so- I am excited to see if I can translate the ideas in my head to when I want to take pictures of and the chance to look back at them Sunday night and go- wow… I shot that!! THAT WAS ME! I have decided that there will be another group shoot like tomorrow nights since there are a lot of ladies that cannot make it tomorrow night, but still want to be a part of this grand plan of mine. That’s just too cool for words… It really is.

With high hopes- I will be posting some shots from Saturday night here on Monday- fingers crossed and hopes extremely high...

Wish all of us luck!!

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