Goodbye Cursed 13, Welcome Hopeful 14

Today is the last day of 2013. A year of growth in my photography, a year of change in my body, and a year that no doubt had major emotional effects, however only the most recent one is available for me to call up and dwell upon.

I’ve changed the desk calendar and wall calendar in my office to try to trick my brain that it is a new year, and that maybe next year will offer good changes that out-weigh the bad ones. This year, after watching my family home sit empty- a new owner bought it in mid to late summer. And from his parties, seemed more a kin to frat house living than actual homeownership. After the events of this past Friday night, mild irritation of having to deal with a new neighbor in the home I grew up in, has, I fear, turned into mild rage that for “reasons under investigation” the home burned to the ground. Now, I have to force myself to not see that burned out wreckage of my past sitting there cold and open to the elements. Mild rage… perhaps an understatement.

In Februrary this year, I lost my job of forever years when my father was forced to close the shop due to a failing economy. It was a job I liked, was comfortable in, and better yet, loved having. This thrust me into the reality that the economy is still sucking as it took me months to find employment at Dollar General. A job, that didn’t last long. The poor management techniques and crappy version of humanity that frequented the store forced me to quit. Being treated like shit and going home to cry every night wasn’t a style of life I wanted to continue.

Mid-August brought the next job opportunity- the farm store I work at now. It has its ups and downs, and I am still trying to get used to the quirks some of my particular co-workers have. But I enjoy it there. I like the people that come through my check lane. I like the steady pay check and the ability to pay bills. It’s good. It’s solid.

Over the course of the past year, my body has gone through changes brought on by improving my lifestyle choices by eating better and doing yoga. Whether it be for ten minutes or an hour plus, I am doing yoga daily (sans days my shoulder or back is acting up). This has changed my body from the near size 20 to the under a size 16 I am currently wearing. Actually, for the most part my 16’s are falling off my ass and Hubby thinks it’s great but that I need to buy smaller pants. In my mind, there’s this blockage saying there’s no way I am down to size 14 yet, no way am I buying smaller pants… Perhaps I should get over this?

Going through the past year of entries I have realized I haven’t written enough. Another year has gone by without me so much as even opening the files for any of my novels. Instead I have opened Photoshop and worked tirelessly on photo editing. My writer part of me has faded away and the photographer me has taken the spot light. I will get back to it, just a matter of when is being complicated by work, life, and photographer life.

My photography has only improved this past year, between classes through the studio and getting to work with wonderful people, I love it. I love that this is a new found way to express my creativity. I am still trying to sell prints of my work both on my newly created this year website, my re-vamped Etsy.com page, and on the new this year Inkblot Arts page on Facebook. Progress is progress and I will vow here to work harder at getting more established on the photography for money front.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, you all know that. I make New Year’s goals. No, I haven’t even thought of any yet, but I will, and I will post them here. I look forward to a new year, with new opportunities to attempt and hopefully a lot less emotional upheavel. Once the wreckage is pushed into a hole and buried by bulldozers, it will be out of sight, and out of mind, and a hell of a lot easier to look beyond… Hmmm… was that about the old house, or the year of 2013?? Great analogy, Michelle! Thank you Michelle, you’re too kind!!!


But, house duties beckon me… I need to bath Sienna, out away the last load of laundry from yesterday, and shovel the snow from the driveway. And come up with dinner ideas. Oh, and write up my New Year’s goals. Oh, and… and… get stuff ready for work tomorrow. But, then I also have to work on some photos I want to post first blog of the new year too!!! Gonna be busy today, aren’t I?

Comments

  1. Happy New Year! It may be hokey but it is a new year, fresh start. And with the house burnt down, when you feel you can do it, write a short story that tackles the emotion of it. I'm tempted to write a story about it just from imagining what it was like. There's real drama there! And the writing may help you get through the loss.

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    1. I think I would like to read your version of the event, Larry. Seriously. Might be insightful from a third party view:)

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