Waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for the damn phone to ring with a phone number I don't recognize, hoping to hear a voice I don't know offering me an interview. Better yet, here's hoping they call and just flat out offer me a job! No run around, three interviews process, just give me a job. I hate this! I hate having half a dozen applications in at places that are openly hiring, waiting for the phone to ring. I hate even more that when I see ads for job fairs, I go a check things out online to find that sure- I could go there. But what's the use? I haven't a single job skill that they require? I just save the printer ink and paper by not printing my resume and staying home, saving gas. No sense going if I haven't anything they are looking for. Ugh... This sucks!!!

So, in efforts to get myself out there, maybe even make some money to help pay household bills, I published a professional website. Not a self proclaimed Facebook website- but a genuine website with all my "Hire me as your photographer" rates and information. Sure- would it be great that if in six months I am on here saying how I need to quit my job (ha, like I'll have one by then anyways) so I can focus on the booming photography business, of course! Am I trying to make a daily profession out of this talent I have with my Canon 20D? Not slightly- if I was, I kinda suck at it :) Am I planning on it? Nope. I am advertising via my Facebook page, blasting out update after update on the website, advertising in print hopefully soon... If any of you want to help get my name out there- please do so! A paid job here and there would be huge right now! It would make me feel less like a failure and more a productive member of my own household. Selling a print or two would be super cool too!!

Until then... I am focusing my nervous energy on cleaning house. For instance- today I woke up and decided to de-clutter the bedroom. No real reason why other then- hey, I'm bored and have no job interviews today, lets do this! I gutted Hubby's dresser, my dresser, and our shared armouir. I paired up socks and tossed the holey ones. I tossed out pairs of undies that- if they fall off my butt over yoga pants, why do I still have them? Now I can close all the doors and drawers on the bedroom furniture and feel comfortable that the issue of waiting for that moment when the doors on the armouir will burst open and puke pairs of jeans on the floor won't happen. I watered the plants, all of them- seeing the random tomato plants growing from our re-potted aloe name Spike. Why is it named Spike? Because it always seems to poke my boob when I'm near it! And watching our, "hey I bet we can grow this" apple seed plucked from an apple and shoved into the dirt of one of our rosemary plants. For those that have never been in my house- it's less a house then an atrium. For instance, Hubby and I plugged the seed from an avocado into a pot of dirt a couple years ago- yeah, it's a four foot tall tree now. We have a rosemary "bush" that was a $1.25 seedling we bought at a produce market four years ago. We have a vine and a Ficus that I will have to machete soon to get into my office door. Least there will be no shortage of fresh oxygen in here, that's for sure. I am fairly confident that if we indeed had a pot big enough, we could plant a dead body in it and have a bumper crop of fresh zombies in no time!!

I have been trying to play with Sienna more. Tossing her toys and playing fetch in the house, since she thinks it's too cold outside right now. I took her into town when I ran errands and turned in applications yesterday then we went for a nature walk. When I take garbage down to what used to be the shop, she and I go for a brisk walk around the nature trails. I am trying to convince her that peeing on Hubby's stuff is WAY NOT COOL! Seems lately, as in the past two weeks, whenever Hubby comes home and we go somewhere, or if she feels she hasn't had time enough with mom (case in point- Hubby took two days off last week and she not only peed all over her bed on his side of our bed, including his pillow. But later that night, off tankered on his side of our bed, soaking all the bedding and mattress pad.) Hubby thinks that it's her way of saying- "Make him stop taking you away from me!" Now, if I leave her home alone like when I go clean the photo studio in Grand Rapids, or go to a job interview- not a leak, not a drop of puppy pee. At any rate- she is currently getting treated for a bladder infection, and the antibiotics she is on makes her fart like a dying moose. Speaking of which, she just Napalmed the kitchen again where I am typing this... Pardon as I step away and let the cloud blow by...

I am also looking at my first "MEDICS" novel as I have had an offer to have someone edit it and help me publish it. Totally freaking awesome! I am scared as hell to let that "child" of mine walk out the back door into the big cruel world. But it needs to happen. It needs to be tossing in that huge pool of publishing and told to sink or swim.

Ooh... hang on. Pellet stove is making funky noise... Be right back. Okay, I tapped, I thumped and still it has this irritating harmonic hum I can hear everywhere in the house. Must have sucked up a rock solid dust bunny somewhere. The sooner we can turn that thing off for the season and take it apart, cleaning parts, replacing problematic parts- the better. This time last year, we had turned that thing off three weeks ago and had the air conditioners in the windows trying to cool down the heat from the 80 degree days. So not the case this year!

Seems waiting right now is all my life is about. Waiting for a job interview. Waiting for warmer weather. Waiting for my photography career to grow by leaps and bounds... Waiting, waiting, waiting... It's like when your computer crashes and you get THAT screen... "Rebooting, recalculating, please wait while Windows configures your system..." I could tell you I'm sick of waiting, but what good would it do? I have been proactive, trying to get things done, moving faster, but alas... Nada. I am still waiting...

Coming up this weekend, I will be venturing South to Kalamazoo to do a long overdue photo shoot with the beautiful, lovely, veggie only knockout Kirin. This will be the first time I have photographed her since getting the Canon 20D, and I cannot wait! Not only do I get to grace my camera with her image, but I also get to meet and work with a photographer I have heard so many wonderful things about, Mr. Hacht. I have hopes that some of the photos I get to take- Kirin and I can start selling on my Etsy shop and her Suicide Girls account, bring in badly needed funds for both of us. Crossing fingers!!

In an attempt at the "Hey, I'm selling stuff now"... In light of everything going on in the equal rights for everyone world- I have created this picture.

It shouldn't even be a debate, people. The LGBT community should have the rights that all the rest of us have by way of marrying whomever they choose to! And to those people that deem this concept sick and wrong- feel free to leave, don't let the door smack you in the booty on your way out the door, folks! I married the man that I love with all my heart and soul- they should get to do that too!! Am I a lesbian? Nope. But I am an Ally. I support the fact they deserve everything us "heteros" get to take advantage of. The definition of a "traditional marriage" is as old, if not older then the Supreme Court building itself, and it needs to be updated. Having two moms or two dads or a dad that is now a mom or a mom that was a dad is more common place than man & woman marriages. Hell- lesbian and gay relationships are more stable then heterosexual ones! Maybe hetero marriages should be made illegal too!! Seems a man and woman being married has a less then stellar success rate. 

Stepping off my soapbox and going to do an hour of yoga...


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