Adventures of Sicky-Poo

From Saturday-
“…I, the great and powerful Inkblot, am sick. I have been reduced to snot, sneezing, coughing, whining, weeping- an abject pathetic mass of my former self. I sit at the kitchen table, amongst a mountain of snotty tissues, icky herbal teas that swear to help distasting my mouth, a dribbly nose, constantly watering eyes, and peanut butter toast crumbs all over my pajamas. On top of my sick-ickiness, I am a wounded wreck. I cut off part of my right index finger tip while making breakfast Friday. Then I burned my left pinkie on a pan. My left index finger is still healing from “Wood Smash” 2011. I fell UP the stairs carrying wood last weekend so my right forearm is all bruised, along with my upper left bicep. From the boobs up- I am a mess!

I’m snuggled in a blanket at the kitchen table while my super sexy man-nurse Hubby, makes me another mug of icky herbal tea, more toast, and passes out my meds in order of symptoms. Sexy man0nurse just explained why I’m watery-eyed. He said my sinuses are so swollen and snot filled, that my tear ducts have to empty out on my cheeks instead of down my throat. Sexy man-nurse is also searching for the perfect soup recipe for dinner- cream of potato and portabella mushaboom. Hopefully with thickly sliced crusty bread smeared with butter, all washed down by a glass of milk! Oh my mucosal membranes!!!”

Real time now… My sickness has progressed into a sort of sore throat, still very stuffy nose, and frequent breaks without a voice, an easily aggravated fever, and heavy chest cough complete with (graphic descriptive words) lung taffy. I sound like I should be hooked up on oxygen when I cough, then actually wish I was hooked up on a portable tank post coughing fit. My ribs already hurt from coughing and I know I have at least three days more of the dreaded lung taffy expulsion. Not to mention- at the onslaught of the snot-ta-stic adventures of sicky-poo, I used toilet paper to blow my nose. Now my poor, cute little Cupid’s Bow is rubbed raw and itchy. I’ve been smearing it with Eucerian Ultimate healing lotion- which smells like poo- in an attempt to make is look less like Rudolph and more like human.

Saturday night, whilst in the midst of being dreadfully ill, there was a major house fire nearby. And when I say nearby- I did not chase it since I could watch damn near everything going on from the comfort of my living room heated by a roaring fire of my own creation. It was big. No huge! It went from “Caller states he believes his house is on fire” to “Structure well involved” in under five minutes. I didn’t chase it because I was sick and it was negative in the temperature range. That, and the fire was on a cul-de-sac and I would get pinned down in there without being able to leave. I did shoot a pretty awesome video if my lil brother flying past our house with the fire tanker he was driving all lit up and screaming. Wicked. My brother is a badass!

It did at first seem that this work week was going to suck ass, but, has decidedly taken an easier pace with the help of our shop’s secondary driver, Sr. He’s taking my Paw Paw run tomorrow- which is great- it’ll give my “Cry Wolf Much?” ulcer another day’s worth of healing. Plus, it’ll also save me from getting all pissed off when a certain someone down there always seems to pick up on the fact I’m not wearing makeup and says I look like poo. I’m sick, I don’t want to wear make-up- bite me. Meanwhile- I’ll still be driving north to Hart and a much shorter runt o grab a rig from my Hubby’s company- the final repair to the “How in the F did they do that?” door issue. I have speculations, mostly hilarious- partially icky, but shall not divulge here, it would only gather me more trouble then needed.

Ahhh… I blogged today. I didn’t think I would get to, honestly. Nothing went right. And fighting a bug doesn’t make me one for good mood type dealings. Good thing Hubby loves me as much as he does considering I think I told him off about four different times today. Not seriously, jokingly, but harsh in the method of delivery. I made it up to him I think- I cooked pork chops basted in yummy herbs, peas, and homemade smashed taters. He is in the living room working on something for work tomorrow (pauses… Hmmm, go figure. His scheduled day off and he has to work… Scratches head…) should have known. He had a day off on Sunday- our first Sunday morning together in forever, but nope! Someone called in too douche-bag for duty and Hubby had to work. Oh well. Shit happens. I’ve gotten used to it. Plus, where else would I come up with resentful verbage like- too douche-bag for duty??? Ooh- almost forgot, here’s another little Michelle-ism for ya’ll…
Namaste- Asshole.

I’ll write more tomorrow…


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